Now, hear me out. How to be confident is a huge statement and is not something that can come as easily for everyone. However, there are ways to help you feel more confident within yourself (or give the impression that you are)!
Confidence is not always easy
We all know people in our lives that always seem confident. It shows like a badge of honour that some people have with ease. Of course, that is not the case for all of us.
Confidence is something I have not always had. I think as a child I could be, I sang loudly, loved to be social and make people laugh. However, growing up through primary school, I had a few experiences with girls being mean that meant my confidence took a bit of a nose dive. Being quite a sensitive child, that definitely affected how I was with people.
Once I headed to secondary school, I definitely found myself growing in confidence but also found I was in a space with a lot of big characters and loud voices, so I found myself not always coming out of my shell as much. An example of this was that I love to sing. I was in the choir at my school and sang in a lot of shows and concerts but absolutely panicked at the idea of a solo, although I really wanted to do it. There were other people who were confident and had strong voices, and I didn't feel like I could compare to it so never gave myself the push.
However, you learn from these things. I now push myself more and do what I want to do. I do this even if I am scared!
Fake it til you make it
Honestly, sometimes you just need to look like you are confident. I am sure a lot of people will tell you that they aen't a lot of the time but from looking at how they present themselves, whether in person or online, you would have no idea!
Faking it seems like strange advice but honestly, it is a good place to start. I find that looking like you are confident in something can actually mean you relax and begin to feel confident for real!
No one knows what they are doing
No one really knows what they are doing. Literally - no one. You can look at brands that do really well and it doesn't mean they are confident in the process or what they are doing all of the time. The idea of "winging it" might seem like a rookie error, but it is how a lot of people do things. I am not suggesting not planning something (a plan is always a good idea) but I think it can be really easy to get bogged down in the idea of planning that you can lose you confidence in your ideas and never take the plunge. You don't need to have all of the answers straight away, you learn and adapt along the way. There is no shame in that!
Get out of your comfort zone
Whenever I think about this, there is a scene from an episode of Girls that gets in my head. Hannah goes to an interview and she asks about a sign on the wall. There is a frame with "your comfort zone" in it and further along the wall is a circle that reads "where the magic happens. I will leave a screenshot here so you get what I mean.
So, this is a very OTT inspirational way to look at it, but it is not wrong. The idea of playing it safe can mean that things can become easy, monotonous and you can get comfortable. Of course, that can be a good thing but it could be the reason you are feeling low. Taking the plunge and getting out of your comfort zone is scary. I mean - really scary. It can be the difference in someone doing something or sitting on an idea and doing nothing with it. The more you put yourself out there, the more you can talk to people about what you are doing. Although it might be daunting at the beginning, your confidence will grow - trust me!
No one is watching as much as you think they are
I grew up with friends around me who were pretty judgemental. It was definitely something that knocked my confidence at times. Despite no longer having these people in my life, I was still nervous when initially starting Women Will Create. Would I be judged? Would I be slagged off? The truth is, from people like that, maybe. However, it is not really the norm. People want to see others do well but they are more tied up in what they are doing most of the time! Don't sweat it! You got this and people are rooting for you, even if they might not be watching all the time. I have found it is more about confidence within myself that affects if I do things or not, rather than the people around me.